And I thought that the Kate Bush of "Running up that Hill" had a screechy voice. It actually had matured quite a bit by the mid-80's, compared to these barely listenable 1978 vocals.
I know that there is nothing new under the sun in music, but just hearing the chorus to this song makes me think of Mandy, by Mr. Manilow (which had hit #1 in 1974). The melodies are virtually identical.
Rating: 31
OK with it: Dear PF500: Any song that rips off an awful #1 from 4 years prior is on the pathetic side, don't we think? Not worthy of the 500, right?
March 15, 2009
44. Devo: Mongoloid
PF500 says that this song "embraces the eternal nerd fantasy of simply seeming normal," which suggests that Devo is identifying with the Mongoloids. This take is idiotic. As a former nerd, I can attest that no nerd would have any part of any story in which they are, secretly, a moron.
Devo is famously short for "Devolution," the idea that modern society is actually regressing. I've never seen it written what Devo themselves exactly meant by this, but, to most nerds, it means that (a) moron football players are getting to have all the sex and creating all the babies, (b) the smart nerds are getting no action whatsoever and, therefore (c) the babies of the new generation are dumber, on average, than the existing generation. In fact, devolution has progressed so far that idiotic Mongoloids can now function as normal members of society (so says the song)!
Dropping into the song how the Mongoloid is secretly happy is the nice touch. And that's the eternal nerd fantasy, PF500 (i.e., "If only I could just be dumber, if I wasn't burdened with this great brain. I could then be happy.").
The harmonics, with all the overdubs, in the chorus, are very very nice.
PF500 does rightly notice how the vocals slowly recede and become overwhelmed by the music as the song goes on. Nice touch, Devo.
Rating: 84
OK with it: Y
Devo is famously short for "Devolution," the idea that modern society is actually regressing. I've never seen it written what Devo themselves exactly meant by this, but, to most nerds, it means that (a) moron football players are getting to have all the sex and creating all the babies, (b) the smart nerds are getting no action whatsoever and, therefore (c) the babies of the new generation are dumber, on average, than the existing generation. In fact, devolution has progressed so far that idiotic Mongoloids can now function as normal members of society (so says the song)!
Dropping into the song how the Mongoloid is secretly happy is the nice touch. And that's the eternal nerd fantasy, PF500 (i.e., "If only I could just be dumber, if I wasn't burdened with this great brain. I could then be happy.").
The harmonics, with all the overdubs, in the chorus, are very very nice.
PF500 does rightly notice how the vocals slowly recede and become overwhelmed by the music as the song goes on. Nice touch, Devo.
Rating: 84
OK with it: Y
43. Throbbing Gristle: Hot on the Heels of Love
Some of the progenitors of industrial music, this song has the problem of most early industrial in that it feels more like an offshoot of disco. I mean, it's techno, really. It gets called industrial in retrospect because it has buzzy effects and whip-cracking sounds in the background.
PF500 seems to recognize this, even comparing it to Giorgio Moroder, but they liked him too.
Rating: 48
OK with it: N
PF500 seems to recognize this, even comparing it to Giorgio Moroder, but they liked him too.
Rating: 48
OK with it: N
March 10, 2009
42. Nag Nag Nag: Cabaret Voltaire
Here comes the industrial! The distorted vocals had to come in somewhere.
A buzzy guitar. There's something about the breakdown on the drum machine at the end of each measure that draws you in. Almost.
PF500, PRAISING the song, says: "subjects the listener to psychological stress tactics that most two-minute guitar punks wouldn't dare attempt." Well, now.
Rating: 42
OK with it: N
A buzzy guitar. There's something about the breakdown on the drum machine at the end of each measure that draws you in. Almost.
PF500, PRAISING the song, says: "subjects the listener to psychological stress tactics that most two-minute guitar punks wouldn't dare attempt." Well, now.
Rating: 42
OK with it: N
41. Dream Baby Dream: Suicide
There's really only one possible series of reactions to this song:
Minute 1: "This is kinda nice. The tinkly synth. I think this was in a John Hughes movie."
Minute 3: "This song really isn't going to go *anywhere*, is it?"
Minute 5: "Oops... I forgot I was supposed to be listening."
Minute 6: "Sigh"
Rating: 59
OK with it: N
Minute 1: "This is kinda nice. The tinkly synth. I think this was in a John Hughes movie."
Minute 3: "This song really isn't going to go *anywhere*, is it?"
Minute 5: "Oops... I forgot I was supposed to be listening."
Minute 6: "Sigh"
Rating: 59
OK with it: N
40. Contort Yourself: James Chance and Contortions
I would imagine that this is what people that hate jazz or funk but don't know what those things sound like think jazz or funk sounds like. Not that I really know what jazz or funk sounds like.
What's up with the late 1970's and all the sloppy honky brass? It's like there was no money for high school music programs in the late 1960's or something.
Rating: 29
OK with it: N
What's up with the late 1970's and all the sloppy honky brass? It's like there was no money for high school music programs in the late 1960's or something.
Rating: 29
OK with it: N
39. Guns of Brixton: The Clash
OOOOOA-OH.
I am never going to fully get behind the Clash as a reggae act. But this one gets me damn close. Bonus points always for bands that use an alternate singer once or twice an album. Learning that the vocalist here (the bassist) was actually from Brixton pushes me over the top.
Rating: 76
OK with it: Grudgingly
I am never going to fully get behind the Clash as a reggae act. But this one gets me damn close. Bonus points always for bands that use an alternate singer once or twice an album. Learning that the vocalist here (the bassist) was actually from Brixton pushes me over the top.
Rating: 76
OK with it: Grudgingly
37. The Slits: Typical Girls
The song alternates between 2 styles: "happy ska" featuring a lazy, out-of-tune guitar gives way to up tempo High School Musical with sixth-grade piano skills. A riff stolen from Batman (the tv show) makes its way in there.
PF500 clearly fell for the anti-deoderant lyrics.
Really, this mostly sounds like an Architecture in Helsinki song that didn't make the album.
Rating: 39
OK with it: N
PF500 clearly fell for the anti-deoderant lyrics.
Really, this mostly sounds like an Architecture in Helsinki song that didn't make the album.
Rating: 39
OK with it: N
36. 24 Track Loop: This Heat
Let's be generous and call it "experimental electronica." Vocal-less, the "song" is a riff distorted for 6 minutes. On something like an Atari 800.
Final unsurprising fact: "Dominique Leone," whose bio utilizes the letter O with a line through it (but it doesn't mean zero) glowingly reviewed this one for PF500.
Rating: 32
OK with it: OK for a music museum. Not OK for a top 500 song list.
Final unsurprising fact: "Dominique Leone," whose bio utilizes the letter O with a line through it (but it doesn't mean zero) glowingly reviewed this one for PF500.
Rating: 32
OK with it: OK for a music museum. Not OK for a top 500 song list.
35. Armagideon Time: Willie Williams
One hit wonder, covered by the Clash, so all the Clash-lovers probably love it.
This song was a hit apparently, but I don't get it. I don't mean I don't think it should be a hit. I mean that it would basically be impossible for me, sitting here, to explain how this song is different than "generic reggae."
Rating: 55
OK with it: no
This song was a hit apparently, but I don't get it. I don't mean I don't think it should be a hit. I mean that it would basically be impossible for me, sitting here, to explain how this song is different than "generic reggae."
Rating: 55
OK with it: no
34. Fisherman: The Congos
Classic reggae. That's either a woman singing or more likely falsetto (the bad kind this time). I unfortunately don't care enough to type in the name of the band into wikipedia.
I was trying to decide what to rank this song, because i didn't like it all that much, but I kinda felt bad about it; I felt like I SHOULD like it more. Then I remembered how fucking awesome Desmond Dekker's "Isrealites" is. This is not that.
Rating: 51
OK with it: No
I was trying to decide what to rank this song, because i didn't like it all that much, but I kinda felt bad about it; I felt like I SHOULD like it more. Then I remembered how fucking awesome Desmond Dekker's "Isrealites" is. This is not that.
Rating: 51
OK with it: No
33. Roast Fish and Cornbread: Lee Perry
I had to listen to this one twice and really turn up the volume. When I did, I was able to say "yep ... that's definitely a cow."
Later I could say "and a reverbing electronic ding!" And near the end "a spooky organ too!" All on top of a spacey reggae song.
Lots of points for being sonically interesting, but slow reggae that has barely enough going on (other than cows, dings and organs) needs good lyrics and I ... well I can't even find the lyrics on the internet. Google fails. And don't expect this Clevelanders to parse the island accent.
PF500 talks about how crazy and experimental Lee Perry (who i'd never heard of before) is. I'm thinking this is a kind of lifetime achievement award as well.
It is interesting to me that there are apparently "cow" and "no cow" versions of this song.
First, "no cow":
and, of course "cow":
Rating: Cow: 75; No Cow: 65
Later I could say "and a reverbing electronic ding!" And near the end "a spooky organ too!" All on top of a spacey reggae song.
Lots of points for being sonically interesting, but slow reggae that has barely enough going on (other than cows, dings and organs) needs good lyrics and I ... well I can't even find the lyrics on the internet. Google fails. And don't expect this Clevelanders to parse the island accent.
PF500 talks about how crazy and experimental Lee Perry (who i'd never heard of before) is. I'm thinking this is a kind of lifetime achievement award as well.
It is interesting to me that there are apparently "cow" and "no cow" versions of this song.
First, "no cow":
and, of course "cow":
Rating: Cow: 75; No Cow: 65
32. Uptown Top Ranking: Althea & Donna
Aw, shit, PF500, a reggae section? Really?
This is a perfectly nice summertime-drink-on-the-porch-during-the-day kinda lazy reggae song. Female vocals. Some nice percussive effects.
I read on wikipedia that this song hit # 1 in the UK, which makes me happy; it's nice to see that a song like this could do that. It's just soo pleasant.
Most songs go wrong in some way, have some flaw, even the ones that make up for it with the positives. This song goes wrong nowhere. It's almost aggressively non-wrong. Every song starts at about 60. It does nothing to add or detract from that score.
Rating: 60
OK with it: kinda, for historical/representative reasons
This is a perfectly nice summertime-drink-on-the-porch-during-the-day kinda lazy reggae song. Female vocals. Some nice percussive effects.
I read on wikipedia that this song hit # 1 in the UK, which makes me happy; it's nice to see that a song like this could do that. It's just soo pleasant.
Most songs go wrong in some way, have some flaw, even the ones that make up for it with the positives. This song goes wrong nowhere. It's almost aggressively non-wrong. Every song starts at about 60. It does nothing to add or detract from that score.
Rating: 60
OK with it: kinda, for historical/representative reasons
31. Disorder: Joy Division
A nice side effect of listening to all these together (and a few other songs by some of the artists I like) is that you can start to REALLY see who was creating a new sound. I've always loved Joy Division, but damn if this song just doesn't seem to be a jump from what these other folks were doing. The sonic emptiness. The complete confidence of the weird baritone vocals.
I've also always questioned whether the atmospheric swooshes and bowie-like effects that Joy Division are partially known for add that much. Disorder is just a great song; it almost doesn't NEED those swooshes coming in later on. I like the mix with it in, but I wish I had a remix without it too.
Rating: 87
OK with it: Yep
Youtube is so weird:
I've also always questioned whether the atmospheric swooshes and bowie-like effects that Joy Division are partially known for add that much. Disorder is just a great song; it almost doesn't NEED those swooshes coming in later on. I like the mix with it in, but I wish I had a remix without it too.
Rating: 87
OK with it: Yep
Youtube is so weird:
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