Here comes the metal!
Is there more straight up metal than Motorhead? My kids have been expressing more interest in rock music and my son is proving to be a particular connoisseur of metal (rejecting even Sympathy for the Devil as "not rock and roll," apparently for the jungle beats). I have been putting AC/DC out there as the emblematic metal band, but now I'm having second thoughts.
Bonus points here for couldn't-give-a-fuck-less lyrics ("you win some you lose some, it's all the same to me" and "You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools, but that's the way I like it baby").
And let's not forget that Lemmy is the greatest name for a metal band lead singer ever.
RATING: 67.
November 21, 2009
119. Flipper: Sex Bomb
Song starts off in the fuzzy bass end of the spectrum with a slowish rhythm laid down, then comes the oddly enchanting whistle and shortly thereafter a saxophone making it a true cacaphony before the screaming vocals kick in. You get the sense very early on that the song isn't really going to be going anywhere, no chorus, just a jazz-ish variation on a theme, with more instruments/noises than you can really recognize being added in, many making only cameos.
PF500 says "Fools at the time took them as a bad joke." Not a good sign.
7 1/2 minute song? Not a good sign.
One, repeated lyric ("Sex Bomb Baby, Yeah!"). Not a good sign.
Someone should have cut them off at 3 minutes, tightened up the production and explained to them that they weren't jazz musicians.
I wouldn't not fuck to this song, however.
RATING: 53.
PF500 says "Fools at the time took them as a bad joke." Not a good sign.
7 1/2 minute song? Not a good sign.
One, repeated lyric ("Sex Bomb Baby, Yeah!"). Not a good sign.
Someone should have cut them off at 3 minutes, tightened up the production and explained to them that they weren't jazz musicians.
I wouldn't not fuck to this song, however.
RATING: 53.
118. The Wipers: Youth of America
10 1/2 minutes? Yikes. It's basically a 3 1/2 minute song with a jam tacked on at the end. You get some spoken word kicking in at the 5 1/2 minute mark (yes, I'm basically just proving to the faithful that I listened to the whole thing). Then we get into a Bela Lugosi's Dead-style whoosh and whoop and feedback period, with the song kicking in at 8 1/2 minutes again. I really expected it to go somewhere at this point, but it just kind of does the chorus again and devolves for the next 2 minutes.
Wikipedia has some interesting stuff about how Greg Sage, the lead singer, was obsessed with cutting records as a kid (actually making them) and had equipment and used to study record grooves under a microscope. This song sounds exactly like it was made by someone who never lost sight of what the music he was making would look like
The riff here is excellent. Spooky stuff (but not to my son Xavier, who says "not spooky"), with a lot to it, a little winddown at the end of the bar. It carries the song, but not for anywhere close to 10 minutes.
RATING: 62.
Wikipedia has some interesting stuff about how Greg Sage, the lead singer, was obsessed with cutting records as a kid (actually making them) and had equipment and used to study record grooves under a microscope. This song sounds exactly like it was made by someone who never lost sight of what the music he was making would look like
The riff here is excellent. Spooky stuff (but not to my son Xavier, who says "not spooky"), with a lot to it, a little winddown at the end of the bar. It carries the song, but not for anywhere close to 10 minutes.
RATING: 62.
117. Black Flag: Rise Above
I always associated hardcore with the high school outcasts forming their own thing. (too often, it seems that the outcasts "thing" devolved into its own caste and social system, but I'm not 15 so I don't need to worry about that shit any longer).
Black Flag seems like something new altogether to me; I never really felt like it was hardcore. TV Party was just too obvious. The singer works out at a gym? Isn't that what the "insiders" do? What's up with these shouty, little-too-slow choruses? Lyrics that they seem to be overarticulating. Frat boys in sheep's clothing, it seemed to me (not that there's anything wrong with frat boys).
This is, in my opinion, their best work, and a good microcosm of everything good and bad about them. Positive too simple lyrics (the final chorus using the word "chance" multiple times being the best example). The solid alternating, driving guitar. The shouty chorus. This is Black Flag.
RATING: 64.
November 1, 2009
116. Dead Kennedys: Holidays in Cambodia
Jello Biafra's voice is such an acquired taste, around 25 years after first hearing it, I'm still acquiring it. I'm not quite there yet. This song is straight out of the nihilistic/political punk, which always felt more aligned with the music to me than any straight Reagan bashing.
Here the target is more on the left, with Jello inviting lefties to go ahead and hang out in Cambodia if they love it all so much:
So you been to school; For a year or two
And you know you've seen it all; In daddy's car
Thinkin' you'll go far; Back east your type don't crawl
Play ethnicky jazz; To parade your snazz
On your five grand stereo; Braggin' that you know
How the niggers feel cold; And the slums got so much soul
I do believe this is PF500's second "use of the n-word by a white group" sighting, although I feel safe that this will be the last.
So with shaky vocals but an interesting set of lyrics, that leaves the music. The music is long-form (i.e., mediocre) punk, with lots of minor chord variations and a few too many echo effects.
RATING: 52 (59 due to the repeated chant of "Pol Pot" in the last 20 seconds of the song)
October 17, 2009
115. Minor Threat: Minor Threat
Now we're back in my wheelhouse. My favorite (and many's favorite) hardcore band ever, I must've listened to this song 500 or 1000 times. The directive to "play it faster" taken seriously right from the get-go, this rocks through 90 seconds of heart-on-your-sleeve stuff that Ian MacKaye was so damn good at. The lyrics giving the punks a philosophy they could scratch into their school book covers ("pay no mind to us!...").
I've never been a big fan of the thrash choruses (although I'm sure it was fun live). This one at least doesn't devolve into screaming, and the anticipation in the build-up back into the verses makes the change at the chorus more than worth it.
Do you like the blue cover better than the red? I like the blue, but secretly feel like a sellout for it.
RATING: 89.
I've never been a big fan of the thrash choruses (although I'm sure it was fun live). This one at least doesn't devolve into screaming, and the anticipation in the build-up back into the verses makes the change at the chorus more than worth it.
Do you like the blue cover better than the red? I like the blue, but secretly feel like a sellout for it.
RATING: 89.
114. Bad Brains: Pay to Cum
I watched American Hardcore for the first time and just thought "they were black?" That's really fucking crazy. Sitting in Eric Stempel or whoever's room, listening to the album in 1987 after getting them to stop with the Dag Nasty or the Circle Jerks, how would you know that? And hell if I knew that they were real musicians and just idolized by the rest of the hardcore scene.
This is nice hardcore, everything it should be: melodic, sincere, fast and driving. With the whole band getting to shout a word now and again.
Don't fear the dirty title of the song; the lyrics are unintelligible like much good hardcore.
The original release doesn't appear to be widely available. Here's my favorite of the second generationals:
RATING: 78.
This is nice hardcore, everything it should be: melodic, sincere, fast and driving. With the whole band getting to shout a word now and again.
Don't fear the dirty title of the song; the lyrics are unintelligible like much good hardcore.
The original release doesn't appear to be widely available. Here's my favorite of the second generationals:
RATING: 78.
113. Journey: Don't Stop Believing
The tune was drilled into my head first through a video game, Atari 2600 version:
My 9 year old self had assumed that with the sci fi album cover, this would be a space game. Instead, you inhabited Steve Perry and ran away from various agents, promoters and groupies (which were giant hearts that chased you ... running away from girls was something 9 year old me could get behind).
PF500 does well: "You can tell something about a person's relationship to popular music as a whole by how they feel about this song. Generally, people fall into two camps." PF500 goes on to describe the "guilty pleasure" camp and the "just plain like it" camp. "You'll notice no consideration of those who don't care for the song at all."
RATING: 77.
112. Atlantic City: Bruce Springsteen
I was one of those kids that, at age 11, spent several years not getting the irony of Born in the U.S.A., so I certainly knew nothing about "Nebraska" Bruce.
So this, when I first heard it 5 or 6 years ago, was a nice surprise. I've yet to just listen to Nebraska end-to-end. I deal with a little too much manufacturing world depression in my everyday life. I don't need it in the car ride to and from work as well.
Quick folk. That's what I'd call this. The story keeps going.
RATING: 74
So this, when I first heard it 5 or 6 years ago, was a nice surprise. I've yet to just listen to Nebraska end-to-end. I deal with a little too much manufacturing world depression in my everyday life. I don't need it in the car ride to and from work as well.
Quick folk. That's what I'd call this. The story keeps going.
RATING: 74
111. Under Pressure - Queen [ft. David Bowie]
Is Leonard Nemoy anything but Spock? Is Jaleel White anything but Urkel? Some things just are what they are, even if you feel bad about it. Wikipedia embarasses itself by not mentioning it. PF500 goes meta in its description: "And notice we don't mentio nthe bass line once." Of course it's the baseline!, ranked as the greatest of all time by people that might even know.
I used to love Mr. Ice's descriptions about how he added an extra "bum" to the bass line. Which, you know, is true, if you listen to it (link here is to his apology).
But with this song diced and stuck into commercials, you forget its scat-ripoff aspects (ee do bo bup bup), finger snaps, the ascending chorus. You recall the ending, but the whack-job third minute isn't one you remember.
Most big star collaborations have sloppiness going against them (no one can be a control freak; limited studio time; etc.). But they can normally make up for it with joy, and that nets out to a positive here.
RATING: 71.
Gotta love mashups:
I used to love Mr. Ice's descriptions about how he added an extra "bum" to the bass line. Which, you know, is true, if you listen to it (link here is to his apology).
But with this song diced and stuck into commercials, you forget its scat-ripoff aspects (ee do bo bup bup), finger snaps, the ascending chorus. You recall the ending, but the whack-job third minute isn't one you remember.
Most big star collaborations have sloppiness going against them (no one can be a control freak; limited studio time; etc.). But they can normally make up for it with joy, and that nets out to a positive here.
RATING: 71.
Gotta love mashups:
September 20, 2009
110. Roxy Music: More Than This
Oh Dear God. Risking the wrath of teenage girls the world over is a bit scary, but I just don't get this one. It's overproduced pop - not only the synths, but the guitar straight off a Dire Straights b-side. And with vocals that could have made 1980's David Gahan blush, which is tough to do. Ambiguous lyrics for 15 year olds to project directly onto.
Not for me, really.
RATING: 49
Not for me, really.
RATING: 49
109. ABBA: The Day Before You Came
I HATE ABBA. Not sure how else to put it. PF500 tries to play this as ABBA getting serious, I guess about how "something's not right." I'm not wasting another second.
RATING: 0.
RATING: 0.
A Thought
My wife mentioned to me that reading this blog, when you don't know a song, and it isn't linked to, is absolutely maddening. It's really a fuck up on my part. So I'm linking everything I can find now, of course.
September 19, 2009
108. Michael Jackson: Billie Jean
Wanna Be Startin' Something seems to me to be the choice, here, if only because we get surreal "you're a vegetable" Michael. I've always felt in that song you got Michael saying "I'm doing surreal lyrics, I'm bringing in multiple instruments, I'm making this song go 2 minutes longer than it should," and I'm not even bringing up mamasaymamasamamamusa (I know, it kinda was Quincy saying all that, but still...)
I'm sounding too disappointed. Billie Jean is very solid, even before considering the video (but "Billie Jean" is actually mentioned in Wanna Be Startin' Something!?!).
The most surprising thing to me when I listen to Michael Jackson is that he's such a storyteller. From Thriller and thereafter, his best songs tend to put you in the middle of a particular situation (which is why Black and White sucks).
Much has been written about Jackson since his death. I tend to agree with the "we're really going to ignore that he was a total freak for 15 years?" school of thought, but the music is excellent. My kids, who slough off music all over the place, ask to hear Michael's songs. "Play a different one that's good" they say. And I always can find one.
RATING: 86.
I'm sounding too disappointed. Billie Jean is very solid, even before considering the video (but "Billie Jean" is actually mentioned in Wanna Be Startin' Something!?!).
The most surprising thing to me when I listen to Michael Jackson is that he's such a storyteller. From Thriller and thereafter, his best songs tend to put you in the middle of a particular situation (which is why Black and White sucks).
Much has been written about Jackson since his death. I tend to agree with the "we're really going to ignore that he was a total freak for 15 years?" school of thought, but the music is excellent. My kids, who slough off music all over the place, ask to hear Michael's songs. "Play a different one that's good" they say. And I always can find one.
RATING: 86.
107. Hall & Oates: I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)
Starts off a lot funkier than you remember, smoother. No one listening to the first 60 seconds would have predicted Hall & Oates. It's a bit of a shame, Hall & Oates seem like a punchline for those of us born in the early 1970s, with John Oates, mute-like-Teller, dancing around a la Andrew Ridgely of Wham, but this makes you step back and respect. The song meanders around a bit in a surprising way, with melodies a sharp above or flat below where you think they're going (like on the multiple variations of the slide on the "nooooo"), they really bring the soul, and there's a fair amount going on, and the Hall & Oates harmonies, whatever their other flaws, are always spot on. (I can do without the upper range tinkly shit, which they should've realized would doom them to easy rock hell, but hindsight is 20/20 I guess)
Can I just admit it and say that I cannot hear this song without thinking of a guy that hates to eat pussy? I Would Do Anything For Love by Meatloaf too. Anyone else? Is it really just me?
RATING:73 66
Can I just admit it and say that I cannot hear this song without thinking of a guy that hates to eat pussy? I Would Do Anything For Love by Meatloaf too. Anyone else? Is it really just me?
RATING:
106. Prince: Dirty Mind
I would imagine over the years that many guys watched prince seduce countless women and thought "I'm not sure I get this." And that's how I feel about his music.
I realize that prince turned into a punchline there for a while, with the symbol and stuff, and at the same time represented what happens to an artist when he fights too much with his record label, and of course he didn't deserve to be the butt of jay leno's jokes for too many years, but ... I've been crucified for this, and I've really tried, but at the end of the day, it's just not there.
And I think I know what it is for me, at least in part. I just don't believe that anyone should take their sexuality that seriously, song after song, year after year, decade after decade. It's a bit ridiculous, if you think about it, all that theatrical stroking of the little man. I certainly wouldn't want to be around a person like that, trying to talk about whether iced coffee is actually getting more popular or not, and having him suck on a straw. Enough.
This song is basic synth 101. Verse Verse Verse Bridge Verse Verse winddown. Or something like that. And the 3 chord synth line becomes annoying about 90 seconds into this 4 minute song.
RATING: 47.
I realize that prince turned into a punchline there for a while, with the symbol and stuff, and at the same time represented what happens to an artist when he fights too much with his record label, and of course he didn't deserve to be the butt of jay leno's jokes for too many years, but ... I've been crucified for this, and I've really tried, but at the end of the day, it's just not there.
And I think I know what it is for me, at least in part. I just don't believe that anyone should take their sexuality that seriously, song after song, year after year, decade after decade. It's a bit ridiculous, if you think about it, all that theatrical stroking of the little man. I certainly wouldn't want to be around a person like that, trying to talk about whether iced coffee is actually getting more popular or not, and having him suck on a straw. Enough.
This song is basic synth 101. Verse Verse Verse Bridge Verse Verse winddown. Or something like that. And the 3 chord synth line becomes annoying about 90 seconds into this 4 minute song.
RATING: 47.
105. Tom Tom Club: Genius of Love
While I think the inclination is to stick this in the electronica/club section, to me this is a nice and easy summer song. A farty bouncy 6-note synth riff, and the puffy female harmonies make this ideal for patio drinking. Steals the best of reggae in this regard.
That said, the rap verse and the german verse don't completely stand up to multiple close listens in a row.
Bo-hannon, bo-hannon, bo-hannon, bo-hannon.
Who? Hamilton Bohannon of course, Stevie Wonder's drummer.
RATING: 74.
That said, the rap verse and the german verse don't completely stand up to multiple close listens in a row.
Bo-hannon, bo-hannon, bo-hannon, bo-hannon.
Who? Hamilton Bohannon of course, Stevie Wonder's drummer.
RATING: 74.
April 10, 2009
104. Go Go's: Our Lips Are Sealed
Oh, I get it. A song about blow jobs (103) followed by a song about girls singing "our lips are sealed." You so funny PF500!!
This song always felt a about a half-beat slow to me. And the tune of the verses seems like it should be the tune of the chorus ("can you hear them"). And, during the chorus, nothing seems to be going on: "our lips are sealed" wait wait wait "our lips are sealed." The 3 seconds between those two lines are just soooo boring.
Then again, never has Belinda seemed so attractive.
RATING: 70
This song always felt a about a half-beat slow to me. And the tune of the verses seems like it should be the tune of the chorus ("can you hear them"). And, during the chorus, nothing seems to be going on: "our lips are sealed" wait wait wait "our lips are sealed." The 3 seconds between those two lines are just soooo boring.
Then again, never has Belinda seemed so attractive.
RATING: 70
April 4, 2009
103. English Beat: Save It For Later
Yikes! "Save it Fellator" is in the liner notes. "Just hold my hand while I come ... to a decision on it." Nasty stuff. Who knew?
Multi-instrumental song with the piano, strings (and not just violins) kicking in over the jangly guitars right from the start, with the gregarious, confident vocal with background vocals doing interesting stuff; more than just filling space. Later the rhythm section takes it's turn, and then the sax. Even some "ch ch"'s!! A surprising amount of stuff going on here.
The last 45 seconds is just plain fun, with the various instruments (here comes the tambourine) and the different vocalists taking turns popping in and out to wind it up.
Their wikipedia page fails to even mention this song. Somebody get on that or Jimbo Wales will be pissed.
RATING: 81.
Multi-instrumental song with the piano, strings (and not just violins) kicking in over the jangly guitars right from the start, with the gregarious, confident vocal with background vocals doing interesting stuff; more than just filling space. Later the rhythm section takes it's turn, and then the sax. Even some "ch ch"'s!! A surprising amount of stuff going on here.
The last 45 seconds is just plain fun, with the various instruments (here comes the tambourine) and the different vocalists taking turns popping in and out to wind it up.
Their wikipedia page fails to even mention this song. Somebody get on that or Jimbo Wales will be pissed.
RATING: 81.
102. Duran Duran: The Chauffeur
Jesus. C'mon. This is the Duran Duran song?
This is spare artrock, with all the bad that goes along with that. Tinny handclaps; not much else. Nonsensical Simon Lebon Lyrics. My wife just mockingly tiptoed in here like a mouse.
At about 2:30, the flute kicking in is kinda cool and the bubbly synth, and the more complicated beat bring the song up. But it had a long way to go.
RATING: 51.
This is spare artrock, with all the bad that goes along with that. Tinny handclaps; not much else. Nonsensical Simon Lebon Lyrics. My wife just mockingly tiptoed in here like a mouse.
At about 2:30, the flute kicking in is kinda cool and the bubbly synth, and the more complicated beat bring the song up. But it had a long way to go.
RATING: 51.
101. The Jam: A Town Called Malice
Another post-punk band that feels like it has about 5% punk left in it.
PF500 rightly notes the strong 1960's Motown vibe coursing through this song, in the rhythm section (not to mention the hammond and handclaps). I've never really gotten The Jam. Take this song, what seems to me to be their biggest hit. I have a hard time seeing the difference between this song and much of the J. Geils Bands' catalogue. Then again, J Geils wasn't that bad.
The "Ba ba ba ba ba buh ba ... ba bap ba bap ba buh" is the best part.
RATING: It's from the sixties; it belongs in the sixties: 65.
PF500 rightly notes the strong 1960's Motown vibe coursing through this song, in the rhythm section (not to mention the hammond and handclaps). I've never really gotten The Jam. Take this song, what seems to me to be their biggest hit. I have a hard time seeing the difference between this song and much of the J. Geils Bands' catalogue. Then again, J Geils wasn't that bad.
The "Ba ba ba ba ba buh ba ... ba bap ba bap ba buh" is the best part.
RATING: It's from the sixties; it belongs in the sixties: 65.
100. New Order: Temptation
Another instance of PF500 nailing it and including the right song.
PF500 notes how New Order didn't fret over mixing Rock guitars with the synthesizers, they just did it, and it really works for them, creating a "ramshackle" song per PF500. Ramshackle really is a great word for this song.
Bernard Sumner did well to know that he wasn't Ian Curtis, and maybe nowhere do you feel that more than on this song, with his regular guy singing, regular guy joy and the trancey "woo oo oo oo oo"-ing, which is always what kicked this song up a notch for me, with the "green eyes/blue eyes/grey eyes" boosting it another notch. I've listened to this song more than once after being up all night, walking around at the crack of dawn. There isn't a prettier 6:30 a.m. song out there.
Extra long intros and outros give you time to ease into it and out of it for maximum effect.
RATING: 89.
Bernard was already becoming a bit rock starry by this performance, in which he is sporting excellent short pants:
PF500 notes how New Order didn't fret over mixing Rock guitars with the synthesizers, they just did it, and it really works for them, creating a "ramshackle" song per PF500. Ramshackle really is a great word for this song.
Bernard Sumner did well to know that he wasn't Ian Curtis, and maybe nowhere do you feel that more than on this song, with his regular guy singing, regular guy joy and the trancey "woo oo oo oo oo"-ing, which is always what kicked this song up a notch for me, with the "green eyes/blue eyes/grey eyes" boosting it another notch. I've listened to this song more than once after being up all night, walking around at the crack of dawn. There isn't a prettier 6:30 a.m. song out there.
Extra long intros and outros give you time to ease into it and out of it for maximum effect.
RATING: 89.
Bernard was already becoming a bit rock starry by this performance, in which he is sporting excellent short pants:
99. ABC: All of My Heart
My first thought hearing this is that it's the kind of song that couldn't be made today.
Anyone born 1978 or later doesn't really remember when life was 95% regular and 5% meta (instead of the 75% to 25% split we have today). A time when irony was reserved for O Henry stories and didn't impact your life on a daily basis. And how, around 1990, that pussy Cobain and that pussy Seinfeld and others came along and killed earnestness and banished it forever. I sometimes think those of us born between 1970 and 1974 are the lucky ones, we were raised with earnestness but got irony dropped into our personalities just before it was too late, ending up with a nice mixture of each.
This song is earnest in every way imaginable. Tinkly intro. Tesh-like vocals. Ridiculously corny lyrics:
This song is so earnest in lyrics, vocals and music that it can challenge some of the kings of earnestness.
And after listening to this song and watching the video, all I can think of is the debt of graditude I owe to Messrs. Cobain and Seinfeld.
RATING: 28.
Anyone born 1978 or later doesn't really remember when life was 95% regular and 5% meta (instead of the 75% to 25% split we have today). A time when irony was reserved for O Henry stories and didn't impact your life on a daily basis. And how, around 1990, that pussy Cobain and that pussy Seinfeld and others came along and killed earnestness and banished it forever. I sometimes think those of us born between 1970 and 1974 are the lucky ones, we were raised with earnestness but got irony dropped into our personalities just before it was too late, ending up with a nice mixture of each.
This song is earnest in every way imaginable. Tinkly intro. Tesh-like vocals. Ridiculously corny lyrics:
But I hope and I prayHere's a link to the video (note to people born after 1978: you'll probably be shocked to learn that the guy in the tux and the lady in lingerie aren't supposed to be funny at all).
That maybe someday
You'll walk in the room with my heart
Add and subtract
But as a matter of fact
Now that you're gone I still want you back
This song is so earnest in lyrics, vocals and music that it can challenge some of the kings of earnestness.
And after listening to this song and watching the video, all I can think of is the debt of graditude I owe to Messrs. Cobain and Seinfeld.
RATING: 28.
April 3, 2009
98. The Associates: Party Fears Two
Guy on the left! Guy on the left! These guys are Scottish, which for me makes the cover excusable for some reason. As PF500 is not Scottish, however, their inclusion of this song isn't equally excusable.
The vocals involve incredibly over-emotional warbling that dominate the song. The synthesizer in the background sometimes seems like it's part of the song; other times it feels like someone attempting to play jazz synth in the background. And the recording is the scratchy early 1980s version of lo-fi, which may or may not have been intentional. At the end of the song there are banshees or something like that.
RATING: 46.
97. Soft Cell: Tainted Love
This is one of many songs in the PF500 that I've heard sooo many times that objectively judging it might be difficult. PF500 nails the description that it gives: "electrocardiogram beep-beeps, plasticky drums, and haunting backing vocals." But there's also the bass line that you can't help but notice despite how quietly it's placed in the mix.
This is another cover that I didn't realize was a cover for many many years. Soft Cell's version was an improvement. The Gloria Jones version is *definitely* too quick and bouncy; Soft Cell's pacing is an improvement, but still probably a touch too fast.
I like the straight version, without the Baby Baby Where Did Our Love Go appended to it, much better.
RATING: 73.
This is another cover that I didn't realize was a cover for many many years. Soft Cell's version was an improvement. The Gloria Jones version is *definitely* too quick and bouncy; Soft Cell's pacing is an improvement, but still probably a touch too fast.
I like the straight version, without the Baby Baby Where Did Our Love Go appended to it, much better.
RATING: 73.
96. The Human League: Don't You Want Me
How many duets grace the PF500? Is it just this and Fairytale of New York (Pogues and Kirsty MacColl)? It might be. It seems to me that Rock N Roll duets is a space that should be explored more, particularly male/female duets. Even a shitty band like Roxette got famous using that trick (the story of Roxette is a great one; two big Swedish rock stars decide to become a duet, as if Michael Jackson and Madonna had decided in 1989 to form a supergroup). But I digress.
This truly is incredibly synthesizer heavy, and it's tempting to call it dated because of that, but it's such a perfect example of early 1980s synthesizer rock, but with the fun twist of the duet, that it really is still fun to listen to, even if the squirty or buzzy synth sounds make you wince now and again.
I've always been struck with how sick and twisted the man is in this song ("You better change it [your mind] back or we will both be sorry"?!?!? That's just one of a few of those gems in a song with a limited number of lyrics). Contrast with how reasonable and adult the woman is ("The five years we have had have been such good times"). The lyrics don't exactly match. She should be singing "Now you're starting to really scare me" or something like that.
RATING: 66.
This truly is incredibly synthesizer heavy, and it's tempting to call it dated because of that, but it's such a perfect example of early 1980s synthesizer rock, but with the fun twist of the duet, that it really is still fun to listen to, even if the squirty or buzzy synth sounds make you wince now and again.
I've always been struck with how sick and twisted the man is in this song ("You better change it [your mind] back or we will both be sorry"?!?!? That's just one of a few of those gems in a song with a limited number of lyrics). Contrast with how reasonable and adult the woman is ("The five years we have had have been such good times"). The lyrics don't exactly match. She should be singing "Now you're starting to really scare me" or something like that.
RATING: 66.
95. Scritti Politti: The 'Sweetest Girl'
PF500's explanation as to why it belongs is enough to sway the indie masses (ironic quotes, mentioning how Scritti Politti is a reference to Marxist theorist Antonio Gramsci, noting links to rappers, reggae and electronica artists and tying them to leftist Robert Wyatt).
But if you just listen to it, it has an overly produced sound, it has too many needless vocal effects, a too slow ska piano beat (note to Scritti Politti: you are not the Clash), the verses repeat themselves for no apparent reason, and that damn annoying Scritti Politti voice.
Mostly it's just boring.
RATING: 35.
But if you just listen to it, it has an overly produced sound, it has too many needless vocal effects, a too slow ska piano beat (note to Scritti Politti: you are not the Clash), the verses repeat themselves for no apparent reason, and that damn annoying Scritti Politti voice.
Mostly it's just boring.
RATING: 35.
94. Adam Ant: Kings of the Wild Frontier
When you're born in 1972, you only remember Adam Ant as a joke, a Dennis Rodman, a Billy Idol wannabe even. You didn't even know that some people took him seriously for a while.
Hearing this song, I'm not saying I love it, but I at least understand why people took him seriously. He was trying to do something non-frivolous. Two drum sets going a little crazy, a bizarre song structure with majestic melodies.
No need to channel Christgau on this one. I can just quote him:
"The music, needless to say, is rock and roll, a clever pop-punk amalgam boasting two drummers, lots of chanting, and numerous B-movie hooks. Grade: B."
Sounds about right to me.
RATING: 62.
Hearing this song, I'm not saying I love it, but I at least understand why people took him seriously. He was trying to do something non-frivolous. Two drum sets going a little crazy, a bizarre song structure with majestic melodies.
No need to channel Christgau on this one. I can just quote him:
"The music, needless to say, is rock and roll, a clever pop-punk amalgam boasting two drummers, lots of chanting, and numerous B-movie hooks. Grade: B."
Sounds about right to me.
RATING: 62.
March 31, 2009
93. Bauhaus: Third Uncle
If you're putting together a list like this, there are a lot of songs that are easy. You get practically no credit for including Paranoid Android, Smells Like Teen Spirit, New Year's Day in a list like this. You do start to get points for things like Stuck Between Stations (Hold Steady), Don Henley (Boys of Summer), Headache (Frank Black) and many others that I would have in my top 500 but wouldn't necessarily expect others to include.
But seeing this song -- and Liz Phair's The Divorce Song and Tom Waits' Jockey Full of Bourbon and Ministry's Stigmata -- made me back up and, despite my occasional mocking, wonder if PF500 might actually know what it was talking about. The easy play for PF500 would have been to include Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead, Liz Phair's Fuck and Run and a million other Waits' tunes. No one would have complained, but they found the right ones for the list.
The book's take is spot on, noting that "Bauhaus's status as the godfathers of goth always gets them a bum rap: it's as if memories of bad haircuts and fake vampires are just too titillating for anyone to remember all the incredible things this band actually did." And then "their cover of Brian Eno's 'Third Uncle' ... takes a spare, art-rock oddity and sets it on fire, kicking off at breakneck speed and then letting every member claw for the ceiling .... It's Murphy's double tracked vocal that does the trick: it starts off in a monotone chant, but by the halfway point it's frenzied and yelping, as the bug-eyed Murphy in the background shouts punctuation to the commanding one up front."
Absolutely! I couldn't have said it better myself.
Bauhaus put PLAY VERY LOUD on the back of one of their CD's and I always remember that and turn it up when I hear them, to their advantage. Everyone knows that loud music sounds better.
RATING: a 92 for # 93
(I just noticed it's Abebe. Nitsuh: I'm sorry for everything I said before!)
But seeing this song -- and Liz Phair's The Divorce Song and Tom Waits' Jockey Full of Bourbon and Ministry's Stigmata -- made me back up and, despite my occasional mocking, wonder if PF500 might actually know what it was talking about. The easy play for PF500 would have been to include Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead, Liz Phair's Fuck and Run and a million other Waits' tunes. No one would have complained, but they found the right ones for the list.
The book's take is spot on, noting that "Bauhaus's status as the godfathers of goth always gets them a bum rap: it's as if memories of bad haircuts and fake vampires are just too titillating for anyone to remember all the incredible things this band actually did." And then "their cover of Brian Eno's 'Third Uncle' ... takes a spare, art-rock oddity and sets it on fire, kicking off at breakneck speed and then letting every member claw for the ceiling .... It's Murphy's double tracked vocal that does the trick: it starts off in a monotone chant, but by the halfway point it's frenzied and yelping, as the bug-eyed Murphy in the background shouts punctuation to the commanding one up front."
Absolutely! I couldn't have said it better myself.
Bauhaus put PLAY VERY LOUD on the back of one of their CD's and I always remember that and turn it up when I hear them, to their advantage. Everyone knows that loud music sounds better.
RATING: a 92 for # 93
(I just noticed it's Abebe. Nitsuh: I'm sorry for everything I said before!)
92. Robert Wyatt: Shipbuilding
Hating Reagan being too common, Indie Rockers at PF500 are retrospectively hating Thatcher, blaming the Iron Lady for the death of English manufacturing (really? oh, now I get it. Mr. (Ms.) Abebe again!)
Making sure I don't let Abebe babble taint the song, the song does have it's moments. It starts with brushes on the drums and a piano, and then comes in a voice so plaintive and raw that it grabs you, with heartfelt lyrics.
But then things start to go wrong. He's against the Falklands War (who didn't love the Falklands War with Fort Stanley and Princes fighting and all that). The sloppy bass line sliding up and down seems horribly out of place. A chorus just too similar to McCartney & Jackson's Ebony and Ivory. Lyrics crossing right over the line into maudlin.
RATING: 42.
Making sure I don't let Abebe babble taint the song, the song does have it's moments. It starts with brushes on the drums and a piano, and then comes in a voice so plaintive and raw that it grabs you, with heartfelt lyrics.
But then things start to go wrong. He's against the Falklands War (who didn't love the Falklands War with Fort Stanley and Princes fighting and all that). The sloppy bass line sliding up and down seems horribly out of place. A chorus just too similar to McCartney & Jackson's Ebony and Ivory. Lyrics crossing right over the line into maudlin.
RATING: 42.
91. The Specials: Ghost Town
A nice spooky ska number that uses ska's lazy beat, various styles of synth, a deep voiced main vocal, a great series of background vocals and, of course, horns (it's the specials after all) and gives them all appropriate attention and space to be heard, and ends up creating a pretty damn cool song that hit # 1 on the charts in Britain.
A secondary vocalist that pops in at 1:45 really seems out of place, and the song has a great chance to end at about the 4 minute mark, but the Specials don't take the offer and extend it out past its welcome.
It's no A Message to You Rudy, but it's pretty damn good.
RATING: 72.
A secondary vocalist that pops in at 1:45 really seems out of place, and the song has a great chance to end at about the 4 minute mark, but the Specials don't take the offer and extend it out past its welcome.
It's no A Message to You Rudy, but it's pretty damn good.
RATING: 72.
90. Altered Images: Happy Birthday
It can be difficult to take these early 1980s bands very seriously once you actually see them. It may be OK for the female lead in this song to strike a playful, pouty pose and wear a cutesy hat. It draws the eye, but it seems excusable. It's tough to be as forgiving when you see one of the male bandmembers wearing the same hat.It's a pretty catchy, tricky lyricked song, but it's hard to see why this particular bubble-gum piece of early 1980s pop belongs in the top 500, as compared to all the other gummy pop that the first half of the decade was so full of, much of which was better.
Nice active bass is notable.
RATING: 58.
89. Young Marble Giants: The Final Day
An early 1980s style synth plays a friendly series of riffs (that sound even better in the live version), while some workmanlike guitar strumming goes on along-side (that sounds worse in the live version). Light-voiced female vocals quickly tear through a song about nuclear war making rich people poor too, so PF500 plays up the "whispers communicate urgency at least as well as shouts" angle, but the song really just feels not quite developed. There's a reason most songs last more than 100 seconds. This one should've done more.
RATING: 60.
RATING: 60.
March 25, 2009
88. Dexy's Midnight Runners: There There My Dear
It's tough not to be annoyed right from the start, seeing PF500 stick this song in there. I'd be OK with PF500 including Come on Eileen. I'd be OK with PF500 not including Come On Eileen. But knowing nothing about this band other than that song, I still pretty much know that Dexy's Midnight Runners very likely do not have a song better than Come on Eileen.
So maybe I approached it with an overly skeptical ear. But to these ears, There There My Dear is a sloppy voiced overly-horn heavy (and it's tough to get that verdict from a brass-lover like me) song, where the lead singer needlessly trills his R's about 18 times in the span of 3 minutes.
Wikipedia explains that the band's lead, Kevin Rowland, was such an ass that all the bandmembers quit shortly after this song became a hit. Rowland replaced the band and made them all work out and run together and banned pre-show alcohol.
Mr. Kevin Rowland: YOU are not rock and roll.
RATING: 40.
So maybe I approached it with an overly skeptical ear. But to these ears, There There My Dear is a sloppy voiced overly-horn heavy (and it's tough to get that verdict from a brass-lover like me) song, where the lead singer needlessly trills his R's about 18 times in the span of 3 minutes.
Wikipedia explains that the band's lead, Kevin Rowland, was such an ass that all the bandmembers quit shortly after this song became a hit. Rowland replaced the band and made them all work out and run together and banned pre-show alcohol.
Mr. Kevin Rowland: YOU are not rock and roll.
RATING: 40.
March 24, 2009
87. The B-52's: Private Idaho
Sometimes I read something cool about the B-52's and I start to appreciate them. From Athens, GA. Check. Worked with David Byrne. Check. and R.E.M. (see Athens connection). Check. Fought with Yoko Ono. Check.
And then I listen to them and there's no chance. Check out their official website and try to stay on the website for more than 60 seconds. It's almost impossible. And then remember that they introduced RuPaul to the world.
RATING: 30.
And then I listen to them and there's no chance. Check out their official website and try to stay on the website for more than 60 seconds. It's almost impossible. And then remember that they introduced RuPaul to the world.
RATING: 30.
March 23, 2009
86. The Pretenders: Back on the Chain Gang.
Oo. Ah. Oo. Ah. Oo. Ah. The blog is going to start loading slow with this many solid songs in a row.
A pretty little ditty, with the low-soaring guitar solo.
Ms. Hynde, pride of Akron, does good work here. Is it possible that Montgomery, Stark and Summit counties best Cuyahoga, Franklin and Hamilton when it comes to developing bands? At least Mahoning and Lucas pose no threat.
I never cared for the bridge.
RATING: 76.
Kind of amazingly, Selena decided to steal the song and re-write the lyrics about pictures and memories in what might be the worst cover ever. This song spent seven weeks at number one on the Latin chart. This reminds me why I'm glad she's dead.
A pretty little ditty, with the low-soaring guitar solo.
Ms. Hynde, pride of Akron, does good work here. Is it possible that Montgomery, Stark and Summit counties best Cuyahoga, Franklin and Hamilton when it comes to developing bands? At least Mahoning and Lucas pose no threat.
I never cared for the bridge.
RATING: 76.
Kind of amazingly, Selena decided to steal the song and re-write the lyrics about pictures and memories in what might be the worst cover ever. This song spent seven weeks at number one on the Latin chart. This reminds me why I'm glad she's dead.
85. Elvis Costello: Beyond Belief
I guess I thought Agent Smith looked more like him than he actually does.I used to have an old Ear Mail magazine from 1992 or so that had all kinds of Goth bands' new albums catalogued. The write-ups for nearly all of the bands were ludicrous, but one in particular stood out for its ending: "You beg them to stop. You beg for more." PF500 ends its section here by claiming that this song "documents the moment that Costello stepped outside of himself and, for the first time, failed to grasp what he saw." I know, I know, fish in a barrel and all that (Eric Harvey, please have a seat next to Mr. (Ms.?) Dominique Leone and Ms. (Mr.?) Nitsuh Abebe on the "not worth reading" list).
Multi-tracked multiple Costellos in echo chambers tear through this quick lyricked song. Elvis starts singing in second 6 and pretty much never stops for any instruments-only sections. I count at least 4 Elvises taking turns here: introspective Elvis; high-pitched Elvis; deep-voiced Elvis; high energy muffled effect Elvis pops out in the first chorus.
While the vocals do the majority of the work here, some cymbal-heavy drums, some great up and down effects on the organ add quite a bit.
This song gets it done and gets out in 153 tight seconds.
RATING: 85 (my fave that I'd never heard before!)
84. The Fall: Totally Wired
The drums start, and it just might be MY SHARONA (we are in the 1980-1982 section, after all), but thankfully it's not. Instead it's a weird little song that's kinda cool.
If Cab Calloway did punk, this is what it would sound like. The call and response between the bandleader and the band is in full effect here, with the "we're 10 feet away from the mike" effect being employed to great effect.
The music does very little, with the lead guitar sounding like a guitar full of bees being shaken around (I know that makes no sense, but that's what it sounds like), but it's the lead singer that does all the work here.
He's totally wired because a drank a "jar of coffee" and "took some of these!" "My heart and I agree!"
RATING: 76.
If Cab Calloway did punk, this is what it would sound like. The call and response between the bandleader and the band is in full effect here, with the "we're 10 feet away from the mike" effect being employed to great effect.
The music does very little, with the lead guitar sounding like a guitar full of bees being shaken around (I know that makes no sense, but that's what it sounds like), but it's the lead singer that does all the work here.
He's totally wired because a drank a "jar of coffee" and "took some of these!" "My heart and I agree!"
RATING: 76.
March 22, 2009
83. Joy Division: Atmosphere
I'm not one to shy away from the maudlin or overly-theatrical, but this one has always struck me as laying it on a little thick. Six beers into a depressing February Cleveland Wednesday night, the rest of the family having gone to sleep hours ago, I eat it up, but other times ... lets just say if you were a new friend, and we were hanging out, I'd never play this song unless I was sure you were into Joy Division first.
The video is even worse in this regard (see below, as Joy Division was apparently in some kind of weird Jawa branch of the Ku Klux Klan ... didn't they know about the KKK in Britain?).
The rhythmic drumming (and heavy lifting done by a tambourine) drives the song. The vocals cracking near the end giving it the emotional resonance. And several sets of great lines. My favorite is the accusatory "PEOPLE LIKE YOU ... FIND IT EASY." (there's that nerd fantasy again), although the lyrics don't necessarily aggregate into a coherent message.
[all things considered, I'm glad to see this in here, rather than Love Will Tear Us Apart.]
Here's a fair Trent Reznor / Peter Murphy cover of it.
RATING: Sober: 73. non-Sober (any kind): 86.
The video is even worse in this regard (see below, as Joy Division was apparently in some kind of weird Jawa branch of the Ku Klux Klan ... didn't they know about the KKK in Britain?).
The rhythmic drumming (and heavy lifting done by a tambourine) drives the song. The vocals cracking near the end giving it the emotional resonance. And several sets of great lines. My favorite is the accusatory "PEOPLE LIKE YOU ... FIND IT EASY." (there's that nerd fantasy again), although the lyrics don't necessarily aggregate into a coherent message.
[all things considered, I'm glad to see this in here, rather than Love Will Tear Us Apart.]
Here's a fair Trent Reznor / Peter Murphy cover of it.
RATING: Sober: 73. non-Sober (any kind): 86.
82. Laurie Anderson: O Superman (For Massenet)
When I started this, I figured 5 minute songs. So I figured 10 minutes to listen to them twice (writing during the second run through) and 2 minutes to find video or other stuff to post, for 12 minutes a song. That meant 5 songs an hour, which meant I would need to spend 100 hours to finish this blog. I didn't count on every single fucking song in the 1980-1982 section having only 7-10 minute songs.
This is the second song that made me check the name of the reviewer (Nitsuh Abebe) to make sure I knew to not bother to read his reviews from this point on (PF500 gives the initials after each review, but gives a roster of reviewers at the start).
It's IS a difficult 8 minutes of "ah ah ah ahs." And a lady talking into a synthesizer about idiotic early 1980s art school shit. And not much else. Per Mr. Abebe, Reagan made her do this.
RATING: 13.
This is the second song that made me check the name of the reviewer (Nitsuh Abebe) to make sure I knew to not bother to read his reviews from this point on (PF500 gives the initials after each review, but gives a roster of reviewers at the start).
It's IS a difficult 8 minutes of "ah ah ah ahs." And a lady talking into a synthesizer about idiotic early 1980s art school shit. And not much else. Per Mr. Abebe, Reagan made her do this.
RATING: 13.
81. Glenn Branca: Lesson No. 1 for Electric Guitar
For 2 minutes, it seems clear that this will be a great example of a violation of Rule 4 of the advice I would've given to PF500. Two-note and three-note guitar patterns merging into a shimmery mess that the PF500 descrip just goes ga ga over: "like beams of light splitting into fractals" (please stick to what you know PF500 English majors). And, yes, sure as shit, there in the book is stuff about how this "spawned" groups like Sonic Youth (I was shocked not to see a Bloody Valentine reference too).
But something happens between minutes 2 and 3. The drums kick in and something like a melody picks up and though overly repetitious, this turns into a nice little instrumental piece. And you can start to pick up the patterns and focus on the guitars, and ... although it's 8 minutes long, you're a bit surprised it's over so soon.
RATING: 74.
But something happens between minutes 2 and 3. The drums kick in and something like a melody picks up and though overly repetitious, this turns into a nice little instrumental piece. And you can start to pick up the patterns and focus on the guitars, and ... although it's 8 minutes long, you're a bit surprised it's over so soon.
RATING: 74.
March 21, 2009
Is Anyone Else Doing This?
I spent a few minutes googlin' around, trying to figure out if anyone is going through these songs like I am (I'm skipping all the book review type things and all major media links and will look at those another day)
Best I can tell, there's the following:
(1) Jake and Jesse, who have gotten through the first 2 chapters (here's the first; here's the second) and, while not mentioning every song, do talk about the ones they like (out of those they heard before and haven't), the ones they don't like, with lots of media links and shit. These guys have some interesting takes; their stuff is worth checking out.
(2) This 16 year old guy from Munich who calls his site ForwardMusic, who mentioned that he's going through them, but only listed his thoughts on a few songs. C'mon man! Let's see some commentary!
(3) Here's Carlos, at Hipster Runoff, who re-wrote the final entry of the book (on the song Bros, by Panda Bear) here, and suggested in that post that he would be doing more, but apparently never has (and here's Carlos telling our dear President to stop campaigning and fix the fucking economy).
Maybe there's more, but I've pretty much found no one that has blogged more than half a dozen songs that isn't listed above (I'm also not including posts bragging about how they used bittorrent to steal all of the songs in the book efficiently; I'm talking about people that have read the book and at least claim to be going through the songs).
A few sites include some message boards on some of the songs, including:
(1) Patrick Wolf, where there are 20 posts of kinda lively, internet-ish discussion.
(2) And Tentfort, of course.
Then there's the people that have posted the lists, without including commentary on the songs:
(1) There's Reid, who made a spreadsheet of everything he has and doesn't have (he's at 75%, apparently), which one could adapt to their own purposes.
(2) There's Rate Your Music, which has all the cover art from the albums or singles, which is kind of cool.
(3) This guy at Closer to Near apparently was the first guy to get the list online, so just about the entire internet is linked to him at this point.
So while I've linked to quite a bit above, it's really me, and Jesse and Jake (if I missed anyone, please do let me know and you will be added).
Three of us? That's really the universe of people bothering to do this? C'mon people, I know it's only Pitchfork, it's not the fucking bible, but what other list is there to go after? You gotta start somewhere!
Best I can tell, there's the following:
(1) Jake and Jesse, who have gotten through the first 2 chapters (here's the first; here's the second) and, while not mentioning every song, do talk about the ones they like (out of those they heard before and haven't), the ones they don't like, with lots of media links and shit. These guys have some interesting takes; their stuff is worth checking out.
(2) This 16 year old guy from Munich who calls his site ForwardMusic, who mentioned that he's going through them, but only listed his thoughts on a few songs. C'mon man! Let's see some commentary!
(3) Here's Carlos, at Hipster Runoff, who re-wrote the final entry of the book (on the song Bros, by Panda Bear) here, and suggested in that post that he would be doing more, but apparently never has (and here's Carlos telling our dear President to stop campaigning and fix the fucking economy).
Maybe there's more, but I've pretty much found no one that has blogged more than half a dozen songs that isn't listed above (I'm also not including posts bragging about how they used bittorrent to steal all of the songs in the book efficiently; I'm talking about people that have read the book and at least claim to be going through the songs).
A few sites include some message boards on some of the songs, including:
(1) Patrick Wolf, where there are 20 posts of kinda lively, internet-ish discussion.
(2) And Tentfort, of course.
Then there's the people that have posted the lists, without including commentary on the songs:
(1) There's Reid, who made a spreadsheet of everything he has and doesn't have (he's at 75%, apparently), which one could adapt to their own purposes.
(2) There's Rate Your Music, which has all the cover art from the albums or singles, which is kind of cool.
(3) This guy at Closer to Near apparently was the first guy to get the list online, so just about the entire internet is linked to him at this point.
So while I've linked to quite a bit above, it's really me, and Jesse and Jake (if I missed anyone, please do let me know and you will be added).
Three of us? That's really the universe of people bothering to do this? C'mon people, I know it's only Pitchfork, it's not the fucking bible, but what other list is there to go after? You gotta start somewhere!
80. Melle Mel (credited to Grandmaster Flash): The Message
Phew! Had to wade through a lot of crap there for a while!
The stuttering laugh is the greatest thing about this one.
I noted in my comments on Kurtis Blow that it is sad how rap seems to have lost its joy. PF500 traces the ugliness in rap back to this song, which very well may be true, but the fact that Melle showed that rap could discuss social topics and be a little hard didn't mean that joyful rap had to be canceled across the board.
RATING: 73.
The stuttering laugh is the greatest thing about this one.
I noted in my comments on Kurtis Blow that it is sad how rap seems to have lost its joy. PF500 traces the ugliness in rap back to this song, which very well may be true, but the fact that Melle showed that rap could discuss social topics and be a little hard didn't mean that joyful rap had to be canceled across the board.
RATING: 73.
79. Afrika Bambaataa & Soulsonic Force: Planet Rock
Here comes the Miami sound. You can draw the line from this song directly to 2 Live Crew, Hoot! There it is and even C'mon Ride the Train.
PF500 claims it was inspired by Kraftwerk, but wikipedia goes further and claims that Kraftwerk actually wrote the hook. I'm again believing wikipedia, based on the sound. It sounds like German techno guys playing an eerie hook, while next door some Caribbean guys that have never even met the German guys are doing some middling early 1980s rap.
Wikipedia claims this song "generated an entire school of 'electro-boogie' rap and dance music." Is there such a thing as a lifetime dis-achievement award?
RATING: 33.
PF500 claims it was inspired by Kraftwerk, but wikipedia goes further and claims that Kraftwerk actually wrote the hook. I'm again believing wikipedia, based on the sound. It sounds like German techno guys playing an eerie hook, while next door some Caribbean guys that have never even met the German guys are doing some middling early 1980s rap.
Wikipedia claims this song "generated an entire school of 'electro-boogie' rap and dance music." Is there such a thing as a lifetime dis-achievement award?
RATING: 33.
78. Kraftwerk: Numbers/Computer World 2
PF500 is cheating here. These are 2 songs on Rhapsody, 2 songs on the album per Wikipedia.
I realize that they have the same beat, the same counting from 1 to 8 in German and from 1 to 2 in English, but that's not my fault.
RATING: DQ (saves it from something in the high thirties).
I realize that they have the same beat, the same counting from 1 to 8 in German and from 1 to 2 in English, but that's not my fault.
RATING: DQ (saves it from something in the high thirties).
76. Grandmaster Flash: The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel
Well, OK, now, THIS is what Steinski was copying to some extent.
This is Flash playing with 3 turntables, mixing Blondie (Rapture), Chic (Good Times), Queen (Another One Bites the Dust), Sugar Hill Gang (8th Wonder) and all kinds of other stuff.
RATING: A sum can be greater than its parts, but most of the time it's closer to the average of them: 58.
Worth linking to, however:
This is Flash playing with 3 turntables, mixing Blondie (Rapture), Chic (Good Times), Queen (Another One Bites the Dust), Sugar Hill Gang (8th Wonder) and all kinds of other stuff.
RATING: A sum can be greater than its parts, but most of the time it's closer to the average of them: 58.
Worth linking to, however:
75. ESG: Moody
TELL THE SINGER TO STAY THE SAME DISTANCE FROM THE MICROPHONE IN THE STUDIO as she says "Very moody Yeah Yeah" for pretty much the whole song.
This song has the bass line and the percussion section. I feel like they forgot to record the rest.
RATING: 38.
This song has the bass line and the percussion section. I feel like they forgot to record the rest.
RATING: 38.
74. Klein & MBO: Dirty Talk
Italian Disco (can I stop right there?).
The intentionally wavering off-tune keyboards on this one, particularly in the first 2 minutes, are interesting, largely for their novelty, but they may be on to something.
By the end, I feel like we've been forced to listen to someone in 1982 getting to play with their Casio Keyboard for the first time (here's the samba rhythm! ooo. and look, it plays clap sounds!) which, frankly, is probably somewhat accurate. By the end they've tried pretty much all of it, but I stopped listening halfway through.
RATING: 39.
The intentionally wavering off-tune keyboards on this one, particularly in the first 2 minutes, are interesting, largely for their novelty, but they may be on to something.
By the end, I feel like we've been forced to listen to someone in 1982 getting to play with their Casio Keyboard for the first time (here's the samba rhythm! ooo. and look, it plays clap sounds!) which, frankly, is probably somewhat accurate. By the end they've tried pretty much all of it, but I stopped listening halfway through.
RATING: 39.
March 20, 2009
73. Yoko Ono: Walking on Thin Ice
After hearing this, I'm pretty sure Yoko is Bjork's mom.
PF500 somewhat obviously includes it because the song was finished the day of Lennon's death (checking wikipedia I learn that ... Lennon was Yoko Ono's third husband!!?? Is this like P-Funk's bass lines; every knows about it but me?)
This song has multiple remixes; I'm counting 14 on Rhapsody. PF500 apparently likes the disco one, but fuckall if I know which one that is, and I'm sure not listening to this 14 times (not that it's awful).
RATING: 40-55 (different versions)
Here's a version that rips off Abracadabra:
PF500 somewhat obviously includes it because the song was finished the day of Lennon's death (checking wikipedia I learn that ... Lennon was Yoko Ono's third husband!!?? Is this like P-Funk's bass lines; every knows about it but me?)
This song has multiple remixes; I'm counting 14 on Rhapsody. PF500 apparently likes the disco one, but fuckall if I know which one that is, and I'm sure not listening to this 14 times (not that it's awful).
RATING: 40-55 (different versions)
Here's a version that rips off Abracadabra:
72. Talking Heads: Born Under Punches
Byrne weirdness, an active rhythm section, out of tune bass line. Multiple series of sometimes overlapping backing vocals. But the main theme is the annoying electronic noise (it might even be a guitar). A video game breaks out at 3 minutes. This is everything the Talking Heads is, turned up 2 extra notches. Most people think they should be turned down a half-notch, if anything.
RATING: 41.
RATING: 41.
71. The Clash: Magnificent Seven
Wikipedia points out that 5 Clash songs made Rolling Stone's top 500 list. I applaud not having Should I Stay or Should I Go, no Complete Control. Train in Vain would've been OK but I don't miss it. But no London Calling, PF500?!?? Why not? You have 2 Clash reggae songs and 1 Clash rap song but no Clash punk or pop songs?
It's tempting to dismiss this song as rap dabbling, but it really is the Clash doing what they do best, merging another style into their own rather skillfully. I'd rather hear Kurtis Blow or Kool Moe Dee rap, but their bass lines aren't as tight and they don't have all the other shit going on like Joe Strummer the Rapper does.
RATING: 66.
It's tempting to dismiss this song as rap dabbling, but it really is the Clash doing what they do best, merging another style into their own rather skillfully. I'd rather hear Kurtis Blow or Kool Moe Dee rap, but their bass lines aren't as tight and they don't have all the other shit going on like Joe Strummer the Rapper does.
RATING: 66.
70. Treacherous Three: The New Rap Language
The rapid-fire style is nice, but the first rule of rap is that it has to be understandable, and this fails that test too often. And the lyrics are middle-school at best. I just picked this line at random:
The bad, bad, superbad
Never sad, always glad
Not a day you find him mad
Ain't nothin I never had
Sleek, sleek, so unique
Guaranteed to move your feet
So everytime I play the beat
Ladies get up out their seat
The above is pretty indicative of all 10,000 words that comprise the lyrics.
Hearing Kool Moe Dee getting his start is nice. He's clearly the talent here.
8 minutes of this gets to be a bit ridiculous.
Rating: 50.
The bad, bad, superbad
Never sad, always glad
Not a day you find him mad
Ain't nothin I never had
Sleek, sleek, so unique
Guaranteed to move your feet
So everytime I play the beat
Ladies get up out their seat
The above is pretty indicative of all 10,000 words that comprise the lyrics.
Hearing Kool Moe Dee getting his start is nice. He's clearly the talent here.
8 minutes of this gets to be a bit ridiculous.
Rating: 50.
69. 8th Wonder: Sugarhill Gang
Where did all the happy, self-assured black nerds go? In the 1980s, some of the greatest athletes in sports were happy, self-assured black nerds. I'm thinking Walter Payton in the Superbowl Shuffle Video; I'm thinking Ozzie Smith's voice; Kirby Puckett; Adrian Dantley. Kurtis Blow and half the guys in the Sugarhill Gang feel like they'd fit right in with that crew. But that's a style that's just gone these days, although maybe Obama's election will bring it back.
I had actually never really listened to this nicely energetic but too long song.
In fact, I had no idea that Busta Rhymes "WOO-HAH ... got them all in check" was ripped off from this song which, in retrospect, kinda lowers my respect for Busta.
If I had watched DJ funktuall's videos, series 1 through 20 (below), I would've known that (fast forward to 2:00 minutes):
RATING 57
I had actually never really listened to this nicely energetic but too long song.
In fact, I had no idea that Busta Rhymes "WOO-HAH ... got them all in check" was ripped off from this song which, in retrospect, kinda lowers my respect for Busta.
If I had watched DJ funktuall's videos, series 1 through 20 (below), I would've known that (fast forward to 2:00 minutes):
RATING 57
67. Kurtis Blow: The Breaks
Is that high pitched siren-ish oo-ah-oo-ah a person or an effect? It's intoxicating, whatever it is.
There's something nice about rapping about IRS audits, big phone bills. Rhymes that the rapper himself even knew were stupid, but he just didn't care, because he had JOY. He was having fun. And why not, he's clearly at a party.
RATING: 75
There's something nice about rapping about IRS audits, big phone bills. Rhymes that the rapper himself even knew were stupid, but he just didn't care, because he had JOY. He was having fun. And why not, he's clearly at a party.
RATING: 75
March 18, 2009
66. Talking Heads: Memories Can't Wait
The weirdness is just starting to become a bit much, the tension building and building musically and, finally, even vocally, as Byrne just starts anxiously yelling. And then ... peace. They take it and slow it down and, in the last minute of the song, with the soaring alternating vocals, give you the payoff and make it all worth it.
Rating: 76.
Rating: 76.
65. Blondie: Atomic
Spaghetti Western guitar (Think The Good, the Bad and the Ugly). Bridge into mild disco and sing around. And then a chorus of hardcore disco with 4-part harmonies with lyrics about how "your hair is beautiful." Say the word "Atomic" in the lowest voice you have.
Repeat 3 times.
Rating: 55.
Repeat 3 times.
Rating: 55.
64. XTC: Making Plans for Nigel
The lyrics are just ... boneheaded. They make plans for Nigel and ... he loves them. There's a ton going on in the background here, but only some of it works. The Laser-Gun shot synth background sounds in the first few verses don't, for example. Repetitive too.
Rating: 54.
Rating: 54.
63. The Cure: Boys Don't Cry
The slow three chord start has gotta be one of the more famous openings in rock, jumping into the simple up-and-down lead guitar and the peppy percussion and bouncy rhythm guitar.
My favorite part might be Robert Smith doing his own wailing background vocals over the "I thought that you needed me more" line about 2/3 of the way through.
One thing you notice if you listen to a lot of Cure is that the bass is doing all kinds of shit; the bass is doing more on Cure songs than for most so-called funk bands. Kind of like the Beatles and McCartney.
The lyrics always struck me as misplaced. Boys Don't Cry? Isn't this a jock's lament? You goth boys are allowed to bawl like babies, tears spilling out onto your poetry notebooks, smearing your words and everything, no?
Rating: 81.
The video here is really fucking good (even though it's not exactly the original studio version of the song):
My favorite part might be Robert Smith doing his own wailing background vocals over the "I thought that you needed me more" line about 2/3 of the way through.
One thing you notice if you listen to a lot of Cure is that the bass is doing all kinds of shit; the bass is doing more on Cure songs than for most so-called funk bands. Kind of like the Beatles and McCartney.
The lyrics always struck me as misplaced. Boys Don't Cry? Isn't this a jock's lament? You goth boys are allowed to bawl like babies, tears spilling out onto your poetry notebooks, smearing your words and everything, no?
Rating: 81.
The video here is really fucking good (even though it's not exactly the original studio version of the song):
62. Elvis Costello: Radio, Radio
PF500 can be useful, like here where it explains that this song is about how God Save the Queen had been pretty much banned by UK radio stations. With that context, Costello's ranting makes some sense, whereas before it had always felt like he had an Eminem persecution complex or something.
"But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference; And the promise of an early bed" ain't a bad line.
The organ and the energy are what make this song.
Rating: 71.
"But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference; And the promise of an early bed" ain't a bad line.
The organ and the energy are what make this song.
Rating: 71.
61. The Cars: Just What I Needed
Ahhhh, Ocasek and Paulina, one of the 1980's couplings that gave every boy hope, but not on this song, which has the bass player stepping in on the vocals.
The choppy guitar and the lyrics are nice (someone to feed), but it's the monophonic synth line is what sticks in you head, mostly a good thing, but sometimes not.
Here is a boring discussion amongst synthesizer dorks about how to reproduce the synth sound.
Rating: 79.
60. Cheap Trick: Surrender
The premise to this song is, really, genius. The parents talking STDs, fucking and doing more drugs than the kids. This might shock those that are 25 or younger, who consider their parents "friends" and maybe even moderately cool, but us older people used to think our parents were complete losers. So this song surprised us.
PF500 claims that the parents are boomers and the kids are Gen X. Wikipedia claims the parents are the G.I. generation and the kids are boomers.
Considering that "Mommy served in the WACS in the Phillipines," I'm awarding the victory to wikipedia.
Rating: 67.
PF500 claims that the parents are boomers and the kids are Gen X. Wikipedia claims the parents are the G.I. generation and the kids are boomers.
Considering that "Mommy served in the WACS in the Phillipines," I'm awarding the victory to wikipedia.
Rating: 67.
59. The Records: Starry Eyes
How many songs are there where you heard the cover first?
Downtown Train, by Rod Stewart is one of mine. I remember disliking that song -- it was a Rod Stewart song, of course I disliked it -- but later having to try to convince myself I liked it once I found out it was a Waits song. But, alas, Stewart had ruined it for me forever.
There are many others, some of which I had no idea for years that they were covers:
Tainted Love by Soft Cell.
Take me to the River by the Talking Heads.
Signs by Tesla (unfortunately, I'm not kidding).
Red Red Wine by UB40.
Here's a nice list of covers
Which brings me to the Records. I loved a little-medium band called Too Much Joy who made a little run in the late 1980's and 1990's, covering this Records' song in 1993 (but modifying the lyrics for their own band, fittingly, and in doing so obliquely and briefing telling the stories of when they got arrested for covering 2 Live Crew songs in Florida and got sued by Bozo the Clown).
It's a nice example of late 1970's power pop. But, to me, the Records version is the one that feels like the cover.
Rating: 70.
Here's the cover:
Downtown Train, by Rod Stewart is one of mine. I remember disliking that song -- it was a Rod Stewart song, of course I disliked it -- but later having to try to convince myself I liked it once I found out it was a Waits song. But, alas, Stewart had ruined it for me forever.
There are many others, some of which I had no idea for years that they were covers:
Tainted Love by Soft Cell.
Take me to the River by the Talking Heads.
Signs by Tesla (unfortunately, I'm not kidding).
Red Red Wine by UB40.
Here's a nice list of covers
Which brings me to the Records. I loved a little-medium band called Too Much Joy who made a little run in the late 1980's and 1990's, covering this Records' song in 1993 (but modifying the lyrics for their own band, fittingly, and in doing so obliquely and briefing telling the stories of when they got arrested for covering 2 Live Crew songs in Florida and got sued by Bozo the Clown).
It's a nice example of late 1970's power pop. But, to me, the Records version is the one that feels like the cover.
Rating: 70.
Here's the cover:
March 17, 2009
58. Plastic Bertrand: Ca Plane Pour Moi
Per Wikipedia, literally, "It is gliding for me." "It works for me," basically.
Imagine a Chuck Berry-written basic fast-paced rock song, right out of the late 1950's, horns and all, but with some punkier guitars and sah-weet oo-wee-oo-oos.
And with French lyrics. Except when they say "I am the king of the divan!"
Kinda catchy. PF500 nails the joy of the song, with an interesting story about how this song copies the tune of an English song "Jet Boy Jet Girl" of about the same time.
Rating: 65.
Imagine a Chuck Berry-written basic fast-paced rock song, right out of the late 1950's, horns and all, but with some punkier guitars and sah-weet oo-wee-oo-oos.
And with French lyrics. Except when they say "I am the king of the divan!"
Kinda catchy. PF500 nails the joy of the song, with an interesting story about how this song copies the tune of an English song "Jet Boy Jet Girl" of about the same time.
Rating: 65.
57. The Undertones: Teenaged Kicks
I'm starting to think this blog I'm writing sucks. It can only be as good as the songs people!
Here's another power-pop masquerading as punk song. PF500 explains these guys are Northern Irelanders.
Rating:63. 59. 68.
UPDATE: I was much too defeatist above. This song is starting to grow on me. It's apparently John Peel's favorite-ever song. I think what gives it the extra kick is the half-step escalating chords in the chorus. Adds a little bit of spice to the power pop.
Here's another power-pop masquerading as punk song. PF500 explains these guys are Northern Irelanders.
Rating:
UPDATE: I was much too defeatist above. This song is starting to grow on me. It's apparently John Peel's favorite-ever song. I think what gives it the extra kick is the half-step escalating chords in the chorus. Adds a little bit of spice to the power pop.
56. The Only Ones: Another Girl, Another Planet
This band is described as punk, but that's just stretching the definition to a ridiculous degree. This is power pop. OK power pop, with a nice funky Brit vocal for yanks to enjoy. It's a cute little love song and that's about it.
Rating: 57.
Rating: 57.
55. Electric Light Orchestra: Mr. Blue Sky
PF500 claims that this song predicts 21st Century indie rock, other than the falsetto stuff. I'm thinking they're not wrong here.
It's nice to have a band that fucking claims their name and tries to live it. Electric Light Orchestra. Really? That's a mighty huge claim, but they aspire to it; they try for it. Serious Lyrics. Choruses. Strings. Piano (bouncy piano even) . Movements (Jesus, the surest way to crack the PF500 is to have multiple movements in your song).
An ending like a glide down a rainbow of synthey poop seventies.
Rating: 62.
It's nice to have a band that fucking claims their name and tries to live it. Electric Light Orchestra. Really? That's a mighty huge claim, but they aspire to it; they try for it. Serious Lyrics. Choruses. Strings. Piano (bouncy piano even) . Movements (Jesus, the surest way to crack the PF500 is to have multiple movements in your song).
An ending like a glide down a rainbow of synthey poop seventies.
Rating: 62.
March 16, 2009
54. Steely Dan: Deacon Blues
If you had to pick anything that represented the awfulness of the Nineteen-Seventies, is there any better example anywhere?
I just don't get it. At all. I never have.
The Luke Wilson letter was somewhat funny. And then, realizing being called out by Steely Dan was pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen to a person, Owen tried to kill himself.
Rating: FUCKING ZERO.
I just don't get it. At all. I never have.
The Luke Wilson letter was somewhat funny. And then, realizing being called out by Steely Dan was pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen to a person, Owen tried to kill himself.
Rating: FUCKING ZERO.
53. Fleetwood Mac: The Chain
It starts with the thumping drums. A mandolin-ish acoustic guitar. Blues electric guitar. And then three-part harmony. And the emotionally powerful lyric again and again. Multiple harmonies. Almost in a row row row your boat round. And then, right near the end, the nasty bass line, with the buildup: Running in the shadows! (actually, I could do without the ending).
Thank you Fleetwood Mac for teaching us that band members should not sex each other up all over the place!
The power of Fleetwood Mac has always been its ability to sound like no other band in the world.
Rating: 92 (the first in the nineties!)
Thank you Fleetwood Mac for teaching us that band members should not sex each other up all over the place!
The power of Fleetwood Mac has always been its ability to sound like no other band in the world.
Rating: 92 (the first in the nineties!)
March 15, 2009
52. Van Halen: Running With the Devil
The only place I ever hear this song is on Cleveland classic rock radio, so I wasn't really prepared for the somewhat awesome opening, segue into the first lyric "I live my life like there's no tomorrow," that Roth certainly proved was a true statement in the years to come.
PF500 has a very nice take on how Roth's lyric "Got no love, no love you'd call real; Got nobody waiting at home," which sounds like a "woe-is-me sentiment," is really a "fist pumping mantra."
Harmonies on heavy metal always struck me as odd, and they do doubly so on this song.
Rating: 71.
PF500 has a very nice take on how Roth's lyric "Got no love, no love you'd call real; Got nobody waiting at home," which sounds like a "woe-is-me sentiment," is really a "fist pumping mantra."
Harmonies on heavy metal always struck me as odd, and they do doubly so on this song.
Rating: 71.
51. Highway to Hell: AC/DC
This marks AC/DC's only appearance in the PF500, which is a sad thing, but probably necessary. All of their great songs have a common sound and structure, so anything more than one would seem redundant. I wouldn't have chosen this one, but I'm OK with it.
I thought PF500 had a nice take on this song, that the song is a homage to the "pursuit of abandon" that is "played like an exercise in rigor." PF500 notes the simple riff, the unadorned drums and how Scott "stays completely in the song's pocket."
I mean, I thought it was a nice take until I listened to it again, this time paying attention to Scott's vocals, which could never ever be described as tight, or rigorous or anything like it. Nice try, PF500.
One more thing on AC/DC: I do think the Bon Scott lovers that don't appreciate Brian Johnson are just silly. Scott was better, but you're splitting hairs here guys. Never has a dead man replacement done so well.
Rating: 77
OK with it: Absolutely
I thought PF500 had a nice take on this song, that the song is a homage to the "pursuit of abandon" that is "played like an exercise in rigor." PF500 notes the simple riff, the unadorned drums and how Scott "stays completely in the song's pocket."
I mean, I thought it was a nice take until I listened to it again, this time paying attention to Scott's vocals, which could never ever be described as tight, or rigorous or anything like it. Nice try, PF500.
One more thing on AC/DC: I do think the Bon Scott lovers that don't appreciate Brian Johnson are just silly. Scott was better, but you're splitting hairs here guys. Never has a dead man replacement done so well.
Rating: 77
OK with it: Absolutely
50. Blue Oyster Cult: Don't Fear the Reaper
PF500 pre-empts, by noting the song is a "favorite frat-boy punchline thanks to Saturday Night Live." I'm not sure what PF500 was going for here. Are they angry that people don't take this Blue Oyster Cult song more seriously? It's tough to argue that "More Cowbell" isn't funny, even if you don't think it deserves the lionization some have given it. Skewering VH1's behind-the-music at a time when it desparately needed skewering was a necessary thing. PF500 doesn't even say it wasn't funny; it just goes for the fratboy punchline wherever it can, I guess.
The song is actually quite nice, the creepy guitar solo exploding half-way through somewhat powerful if you have it on loud enough.
The semi-lobotomized vocals give the suicide pact lyrics quite a bit of umph.
It's not bad at all.
I do have to say that I thought the cowbell was mixed quite a bit quieter than I had thought it was.
Rating: 66
OK with it: Naah.
The song is actually quite nice, the creepy guitar solo exploding half-way through somewhat powerful if you have it on loud enough.
The semi-lobotomized vocals give the suicide pact lyrics quite a bit of umph.
It's not bad at all.
I do have to say that I thought the cowbell was mixed quite a bit quieter than I had thought it was.
Rating: 66
OK with it: Naah.
49. Suspira: Goblin
An instrumental track in 3 movements, this is apparently a song from the soundtrack to Dario Argento's horror movie Suspira, which apparently is some kind of big deal I had never heard of (but which is now in my netflix' queue, albeit 175 movies (and thus about 4-5 years) from actually getting to me.
As for the song, the first 150 seconds sound like what a horror soundtrack is supposed to sound like: the repetitive, suspenseful, higher octave work dominating. The song launches into a middle section that is clearly a chase sequence before returning to the suspense, this time with foreboding chanting coming to the foreground.
Great soundtrack song. But I wasn't watching the movie.
Rating: 45
OK with it: N
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